Tag Archives: grandma

Fasten Your Seatbelt, This Road May Get Bumpy

19 Feb

funny-mom-quotes-brain-cells-for-kids

It was sometime around this point in Oli’s life that I decided I would learn braille. I mean, why not, right? My daughter was still in diapers, had about 4 teeth, could say one word and had just learned to sit up. Why wouldn’t I want to learn braille so I could start teaching her immediately something that blind kids don’t really learn until they are about 5 years old(give or take-I’m not completely sure because Oli hasn’t even started it yet. So glad I ran that gauntlet 5 YEARS AGO!!).

That picture of the crazy mom at the top of my blog, that is cartoon me. She has blond hair because what suburban house wife/stay at home mom doesn’t picture herself as a smoking hot blond bombshell. Or is that just me? Maybe I watch too much reality TV.

I love how chic it is to say “housewife” now. Much better I say that, than tell people I don’t have a job or tell them I take care of my 3 children…all day…everyday…and I never get out of the house…or put real clothes on. . .or have any friends…

See how she’s holding her head. That’s me totally flabbergasted by this whole crazy, loopy, bumpy path that is the road of a mom with a child with disabilities.

Before I had kids my road looked like this:

road 1

It was smooth, newly paved, no potholes and was 100% safe. I didn’t even need a seat belt.

When I decided to have kids it looked like this:

road 2

Highs and lows, a few tiny pot holes, but I could still see where I was going. There were beautiful flowers by the side of the road and sunsets and rainbows in the distance. (I’ll bet you didn’t know that I am also an artist. I will now add that to my resume of blog writer, magic Q-tip eye ball manipulator, Binky locating expert, and projectile vomit catcher.)

After Oli was born my road started looking like this:

road 3

Most of the time I can’t even see where the hell I am going and have no clue where to turn next. I just bump along, twisting, crashing through potholes the size of Connecticut, and try to avoid the boulders falling on my head. A 5 point restraint race car driver seat belt is required for this road. It gives me a terrible headache. That’s also why I’m holding my head.

And I’m holding it because I get crazy ideas like learning braille when my baby is 8 months old and I run with them full force, balls to the wall. It makes my head spin so I’m trying to hold it on so it doesn’t fly off while my mind is traveling at 500 million miles a minute.

imagesCA5W00WF

I might have a few issues, but I did learn un-contracted braille that year:)

I probably get my neurosis from my mother. She learned un-contracted and contracted braille that same year. Along with the numbers, math, and maybe music? Basically the whole shebang of braille. She was ready to open up her own little braille school and teach all the little blind babies of the greater Las Vegas valley.

Never underestimate the love that my mom has for her grandchildren.

Advertisements

Mom…my baby is blind.

26 Jan

“I cannot forget my mother. She is my bridge. When I needed to get across, she steadied herself long enough for me to run across safely.” -Renita Weems

I think the hardest phone call I have ever had to make was the one I made to my mother, telling her that Oli was blind. I don’t even remember the details of that conversation but, I remember thinking…

I can’t believe I’m telling her this.

I can’t believe that I have to tell her that I will not be able to give her granddaughter the kind of life that she gave me.

My mom LOVES her grandchildren! ( Notice the capitalization and exclamation mark. This means that sometimes I think she loves them more than me.)

I can’t even imagine what she was thinking when I whispered those 5 words into the phone that day.

Mom, my baby is blind.

I could hardly even speak the words. I didn’t want to speak them. If I said those words to someone outside my hospital room, that would solidify it. That would make it real. I didn’t want it to be real.

I was crying uncontrollably and I just wanted my mom to do what she always does when I am hurting.

I wanted her to make it go away.

I wanted her to stand up for me, yell at someone for me, tell me how unfair this all was.

I wanted her to say that she would fix this for me.

But, she couldn’t make it go away this time.

This is the one time my mom didn’t offer to fix it for me.

She just cried with me. She told me how sorry she was that this had happened.

And then she told me that it would be hard but, I would get through it.

My mom’s heart was broken that day.

She loves me and my children like her life depends on it and I know that if she could have bargained with the devil for Oli’s eyesight she would have done it. If she could have fixed it somehow, she would have. She would have fixed it so that I didn’t have to feel this unbearable heartache.

But she didn’t offer me a lie that day.

She didn’t offer to do something that she knew she could never make happen.

Moms can’t always fix things for their children, even when their hearts are shattering to pieces before them.

My mom showed me that day how hard it really is to be a mother. I love her immensely for the things that she unknowingly taught me that day. Things that I now know are the honest gifts of a mother to a child.

She has never lied to me when she knows something is going to hurt.

Never promised me things she knew I will never have.

And she has never tried to fix something for me when it is not truly broken.

thecrumbdiaries

Logan is challenged but not limited, and he is living his life like a boss. I am just lucky enough to be along for the ride.

Mommy Got Her Groove Back

How a new mom, and wife does parenting and daily life.

Lessons from my daughter

Although all doctors agreed she would do nothing.....

I'm fine, but my Mommy has issues!

Raising a daughter with special needs.

Living on the Spectrum: The Connor Chronicles

Our family's adventures in the world of ADHD and Autism.

Parenting And Stuff

Not a "how to be a great parent" blog

don of all trades

Master of none...

The Third Glance

A peek into my (Autistic) mind

One Stitch At A Time

Making my way back in time.

Disability Watchdog

Exposing Injustices for Vulnerable People

My thoughts on a page.

Living, Laughing, Loving, Loathing.

It is Well...with my Soul

Sure, my hands are full. So is my HEART!

Chopping Potatoes

And other metaphors for motherhood

This is the Corner We Pee In

Bulletins from the Parenting Trenches...

clotildajamcracker

The wacky stories of a crazy lady.

This is the place

visiting places where writers were born, lived, loved & are buried.

motherslittlesteps.co.uk/

Motherhood and Country-Coastal Living

My Dance in the Rain

The journey of my life, my path to redefine myself and a special little girl with Cri du Chat Syndrome and Primary Ciliary Dyskenisia who changed it all.

Prego and the Loon

Pregnant and Dealing With Domestic Violence

%d bloggers like this: