What would you do if your child was born with a disability?
Would you run away? Fight it with everything you had? Or just accept it and move on? I have done all 3 on my journey to obtain my special needs mother hat.
I gave birth to my second child, Oli in May of 2007. My son, Koa was 17 months old. I was like most mothers and just expected to pop out a healthy baby girl and be on my merry way. Happily ever after…butterflies and roses…sunshine everyday…
That’s not exactly what happened. My baby girl was born blind.
I couldn’t believe it. She had been born without eyes. How could this have happened?
I believed in God, went to college…twice, had a good job, paid my taxes, never been arrested, I was a good person dammit! What had I done wrong? Had I pissed off God so royally that He was now punishing me? Was I some kind of outlaw, misfit, showering atrocities on the population in another life? How did this happen to me? I didn’t sign up for this. I signed up for “perfect” extraordinary children. I loved my little girl immediately, but I knew that I was in trouble. I never in a million years anticipated having anything other than a “normal” child.
When Oli was born I didn’t recognize that wanting an extraordinary child can mean exactly the kind of child that I was now charged with caring for. She was not ordinary at all.
I have since learned the value of raising such a complex person. I have learned that despite my anger, denial, self-hatred and questions of what I had done wrong, I began to grow beyond the conforms of what I thought I was and exceed all possible expectations of what I thought I could become.
I learned that because my daughter is so different from me that is what I love the most, not in spite of it.
I started a blog when Oli was born called Baby Oli. I tried to convince everyone that it was fine, she was fine, and I was fine. I was not fine. I was in agony. That blog was full of deception and flat out lies.
This blog is 100% genuine and 100% true. It is a completely heartfelt and honest account of my life after Oli.
My name is Shannon and this is my story.
I'm fine, but my Mommy has issues! 
Your blog title drew me in, but your story hooked me – and not just the story itself, but the way you share it. Thank you for some great reading.
And that great title – that I’ve used in reference to my third child many times before! (For different reasons, but I think your words get at the fear of every mother that her foibles will affect her children).
Thank you so much Jennifer! That is the nicest comment!
No complaints on this end, siplmy a good piece.
Hey I am so grateful I found your blog, I rellay found you by mistake, while I was browsing on Yahoo for something else, Anyways I am here now and would just like to say thanks a lot for a fantastic post and a all round interesting blog (I also love the theme/design), I donedt have time to browse it all at the minute but I have bookmarked it and also included your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read a lot more, Please do keep up the great job.
Thank you.
Hi
I nominated you for a sunshine award. Hope your okay with that. If your interested just follow the link .http://1tric.wordpress.com/
Thank you so much!
Your very welcome. Have been tuning in to you regularly and enjoy your posts. So congrats!
You can definitely see your exrsitpee in the paintings you write. The arena hopes for more passionate writers like you who are not afraid to mention how they believe. All the time follow your heart. Man is the measure of all things. by Protagoras.
Thank you.
This atrilce went ahead and made my day.
I admire parents of kids with disabilities. It’s neat how they all deal with their specific situation differently. Our best friends have a soon to be teen girl with autism and they use humor to deal with their situation. I can’t get them to start a blog, but it’d be hilarious.
Thanks. I have to laugh through it. Otherwise I’d just cry over it. And I’d probably be in the nuthouse by now:) Your friends should! It’s always nice to read funny blogs by parents of SN kiddos.
Hi Shannon, Thank you for sharing your story. i hope one day many more parents will too. I look forward to your posts. Anne
Thanks Anne!
Posts like this brighten up my day. Thanks for tkaing the time.
I have nominated you for the sisterhood of the world blogger award. You do not have to accept it. All I really wanted to do was to put a link on my site to yours so others may find you and enjoy your writing as much as I have .http://mythoughtsonapage.com/
The very heart of your writing while aepapring reasonable at first, did not settle perfectly with me after some time. Somewhere throughout the sentences you actually managed to make me a believer but only for a while. I still have a problem with your leaps in logic and one might do well to help fill in those breaks. In the event that you can accomplish that, I will undoubtedly end up being fascinated.
I’ve nominated you for the Leibster Blogging Award.
Thank you so much!!
This is me. I guess I commented without loggin in. Whoops:)
Hi Shannon,
I nominated you for the Liebster Award:http://littlestepsblogdotcom.wordpress.com/2013/04/17/the-leibster-award/
I know you probably don’t do this sort of thing, but I still think you very much deserve it. All the best, D.
Thank you so much Dean!! I appreciate it!!
I’m related to someone close to me that has a disability and I worked in a group home for disabled people. So I’ve seen many sides of it. And you do need courage to deal with many unforseen challenges.
I listed your blog in my nomination list for awards.. You can ignore the award if you like as they are so much work, but i wanted to acknowledge your blog as I enjoy it.. If you do wish to accept any you can take your pick. http://mythoughtsonapage.com/2013/05/09/blog-awards-a-big-thank-you/
Reply ↓
Thank you so much!!! I do appreciate it!!
Hey there! I just found you’re blog and boy am I am excited about reading some more!!! the title of it totally grabbed my attention but now that I’ve read the About page I am hooked! Before I had kiddies I was a primary school teacher and I had a special interest in kids with a disability – I often thought to myself – it is only the very special women of this world who get asked to take care of these very special children xx
Hi! I’m glad you found me! I don’t know how special I am, but I do know that my Oli is amazing and I am so lucky to be able to share her journey with her.
HI Shannon, I enjoy reading your blog although it does makes me cry alot lol 🙂 In a good way of course because of all the love that you pour out. Plus I’m a big cry baby anyway. I wanted to ask if you are from Hawaii. I noticed your son’s name is Kekoa and who can forget your dog Shaka 🙂
Hi Cloe! My husband Seth is from the Big Island.
Cool! So am I 🙂 I live in Hilo.
No way!! He’s from Hilo! Seth Gardner.
I miss seeing Oli and your family on FB. I hope everything is alright. I keep you all in my thoughts and prayers.
We’re good. Thank you!
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