Archive | 6:50 pm

You’re probably not a special needs parent if….

2 Feb

1. You have money.

2. You drive a small car.

3. You drive a nice car.

4. You don’t know what IEP stands for.

5. You don’t have a small panic attack, cringe, or cry when you hear the word IEP.

6. You go out to eat at restaurants and stay longer than 20 minutes.

7. Going out to eat does not mean going through the drive through at McDonalds.

8. You regularly enjoy meals without someone spitting a mouthful of chewed mush all over your shirt and then clapping and laughing. This is not done by your baby.

9. Your purse doesn’t weigh 5,000lbs and include things like emergency medication syringes, extra-large diapers, special snacks, multiple packs of boogie wipes, or weird toys.

10. Your wallet isn’t bursting with business cards from doctors, specialists, therapy places, schools, and support groups.

11. You never get emails titled “Sale! Feeding chair only 1 million dollars (regularly priced at 5 million)”

12. You don’t schedule your day based on what kind of mood your child is in.

13. You can go shopping with your children and never end up back in the car crying.

14. You’ve probably never been bitten, scratched, spit on pooped on, peed on, or thrown up on all in one day. Unless you’re a nurse.

15. Poop on the walls is DEFINITLY an emergency.

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I Need A Cocktail!

2 Feb

“Oh, my friend, it’s not what they take away from you that counts. It’s what you do with what you have left.” ~Hubert Humphrey

And so it began…

As awful as that first evaluation was, I knew that it was only the first of many. Countless interactions with doctors and specialists, listing endless possibilities of what could be wrong with her. I know that they were trying to help us but, I started to feel like I needed anti-anxiety medication or a stiff drink every time I walked through their doors.

What kind of syndrome, disease, or affliction hypothesis are they going to throw at me today?

Sometimes I knew right away as I rushed home to Google their current theory.

Okay, I know she doesn’t have that!!

Sometimes I came up with my own diagnosis.

Whoops! Cats out of the bag!

I still do that sometimes.

(Didn’t I mention that my special needs mother hat also came with a medical degree.)

I guess in a way I am lucky. I knew right away that something was wrong with Oli. I’ve never had to search out doctors and try to convince them that something is wrong with her.

Ahhh…the silver lining?

On the other hand, I have had to convince them of things that are not wrong with her.

Yes, I promise you she can hear.

Yes, she really can feed herself a little.

Yes, she really can repeat a few words.

Yes, she really can walk a few steps by herself.

Yes, I promise you she does smile and laugh.

You are just not warm and inviting enough to have earned her smile nor are you funny enough to have earned her laugh.

Poking at her probably doesn’t help.

Sorry but, your loss.

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