“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” -Maya Angelou
I’m driving on an unfamiliar road during the middle of the day. The windows are rolled down and I can feel the warm summer breeze blowing across my face. Abruptly something happens and I can no longer see where I am going. Darkness has overcome my eyes and I am suddenly plunged into a black abyss. Terrified I cry out and try to pull the car off the road and stop. I can’t see anything though and I panic. I know I am going to crash but no matter how hard I try, I cannot seem to make my eyes work. I have somehow become blind.
Suddenly, I am ripped from sleep and wake up drenched in sweat and breathing heavily. It was a dream. I wait for my sleepy eyes to adjust to the darkness and realize that I can ,in fact, see. I have not suddenly been struck by blindness. Only a dream. Vivid and unshakable yes, but a dream regardless. One that I was fortunately able to wake up from. I would continue to have that dream frequently. Until years later, when I was not able to wake up from that dream. Except, it didn’t happen to me. I was not the one suddenly struck by blindness. My newborn daughter was…and it wasn’t a dream. It was reality. My beautiful baby girl Oliana, had been born blind.
Was this dream before Oli was born? I always had an enormous amount of compassion with children with special needs and with each of my pregnancies all I thought about was my baby being healthy especially with Sophie and we had no clue that she was different until after her birth. Now that I look back I feel like it was my preparation for what was to come, that spiritual connection to something more was reaching out to me. I believe there are no coincidences in life.
No. The dream that I was always blind was the dream I had before she was born. Never since. I don’t believe in coincidences either.