In My Dreams

20 Jan

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” -Maya Angelou

I’m driving on an unfamiliar road during the middle of the day.  The windows are rolled down and I can feel the warm summer breeze blowing across my face.  Abruptly something happens and I can no longer see where I am going.  Darkness has overcome my eyes and I am suddenly plunged into a black abyss. Terrified I cry out and try to  pull the car off the road and stop.  I can’t see anything though and I panic.  I know I am going to crash but no matter how hard I try, I cannot seem to make my eyes work. I have somehow become blind.

Suddenly, I am ripped from sleep and wake up drenched in sweat and breathing heavily.  It was a dream.  I wait for my sleepy eyes to adjust to the darkness and realize that I can ,in fact, see.  I have not suddenly been struck by blindness.  Only a dream. Vivid and unshakable yes, but a dream regardless. One that I was fortunately able to wake up from.  I would continue to have that dream frequently.  Until years later, when I was not able to wake up from that dream.  Except, it didn’t happen to me.  I was not the one suddenly struck by blindness. My newborn daughter was…and it wasn’t a dream.  It was reality.  My beautiful baby girl Oliana, had been born blind.

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5 Responses to “In My Dreams”

  1. My Dance in the Rain May 5, 2013 at 9:22 pm #

    Was this dream before Oli was born? I always had an enormous amount of compassion with children with special needs and with each of my pregnancies all I thought about was my baby being healthy especially with Sophie and we had no clue that she was different until after her birth. Now that I look back I feel like it was my preparation for what was to come, that spiritual connection to something more was reaching out to me. I believe there are no coincidences in life.

    • mommyhasissues May 8, 2013 at 10:42 pm #

      No. The dream that I was always blind was the dream I had before she was born. Never since. I don’t believe in coincidences either.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. In My Dreams | Sweet Oliana - January 20, 2013

    […] In My Dreams. […]

  2. I Just Knew « I'm fine, but my Mommy has issues! - January 26, 2013

    […] that something was wrong.  It was only a few days after Oli’s birth that I would remember my recurrent dream.  It’s weird because she is 5 years old now and I have never had that dream […]

  3. I will never forget her lifeless feet. | I'm fine, but my Mommy has issues! - April 29, 2013

    […] in the very first blog that I wrote for my story. The dream that I was going blind. You can read it HERE. I’ve never had that dream again since Oli was […]

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